When the newsfeed is filled with updates of everyone getting married and having kids, there's no running away from the reality being outrightly slapped at me; that I'm at that stage of this life when there's the indirect 'pressure' or anticipation to get hitched, settle down, and start having my own children. Turning a quarter of a century comes with that expectation, at least back where I come from. Much as the thought of a home shared with your significant other and all those little Juniors and Juniorettes running around the house sound so appealing, my firm belief is that I'd only settle down with my signifiant other when I'm financially, psychologically, and emotionally stable and ready.
I have never specifically singled a number as an ideal marrying age. For me, it's all about that aforementioned preparedness. You could be forty and still be unready, or be nineteen but have the chops and moxie to be settled already. Personally, I'm still in that phase of conditioning myself for that ultimate and perpetual commitment. So for such purposes, I decided to come up with the list of things I would want to do before being certified non-single. Marriage comes with responsibilities, obligations, and certain compromises. I'm well aware that there are all these what-nots that are to be expected once I tie the knot with someone. (Six because, well, uhm, the number sounds lucky?)
I have never specifically singled a number as an ideal marrying age. For me, it's all about that aforementioned preparedness. You could be forty and still be unready, or be nineteen but have the chops and moxie to be settled already. Personally, I'm still in that phase of conditioning myself for that ultimate and perpetual commitment. So for such purposes, I decided to come up with the list of things I would want to do before being certified non-single. Marriage comes with responsibilities, obligations, and certain compromises. I'm well aware that there are all these what-nots that are to be expected once I tie the knot with someone. (Six because, well, uhm, the number sounds lucky?)
1. Kiss A Random Stranger
Impulsive and risky. The thought of walking down the street and suddenly kissing the unsuspecting bloke you meet is just another bizarre notion that I never seriously considered doing but the idea of that outlandish risk and not knowing the aftermath is what tempts me to do the unthinkable. It is absurd and downright reckless but that's the fun thing about it. Being single doesn't obligate someone to be faithful to another soul. You could do something as kooky but do not feel accountable to anyone other than yourself for the things you do.
Being married however would be a colossal game-changer. There's no excuse to not exemplify utmost fidelity to your spouse in all manners.
2. Sing A Rock Song in a Concert/Gig
Wild and spontaneous. Imagine hoisting yourself up on a stage, grabbing the microphone and scaring the audience off with your out-of-tune soprano while banging your head like you're the Queen of Rock. That might even look kinda hot in a weird way if you're single and ready to mingle but a bit off-beat when sporting a gold band. In a way, being single gives you the pass to indulge in something crazy without having to explain your actions. Or in this case, do something crazy and not disgracing anyone else with you for this ludicrousness.
This goes with other publicly-embarrassing stunts that I might just randomly pull off. One does not have the compulsion to save face for the sake of someone else. But if I intend to be associated with someone, then that's a different story. I'll try my very best to be Miss Decorum and Class.
Impulsive and risky. The thought of walking down the street and suddenly kissing the unsuspecting bloke you meet is just another bizarre notion that I never seriously considered doing but the idea of that outlandish risk and not knowing the aftermath is what tempts me to do the unthinkable. It is absurd and downright reckless but that's the fun thing about it. Being single doesn't obligate someone to be faithful to another soul. You could do something as kooky but do not feel accountable to anyone other than yourself for the things you do.
Being married however would be a colossal game-changer. There's no excuse to not exemplify utmost fidelity to your spouse in all manners.
2. Sing A Rock Song in a Concert/Gig
Wild and spontaneous. Imagine hoisting yourself up on a stage, grabbing the microphone and scaring the audience off with your out-of-tune soprano while banging your head like you're the Queen of Rock. That might even look kinda hot in a weird way if you're single and ready to mingle but a bit off-beat when sporting a gold band. In a way, being single gives you the pass to indulge in something crazy without having to explain your actions. Or in this case, do something crazy and not disgracing anyone else with you for this ludicrousness.
This goes with other publicly-embarrassing stunts that I might just randomly pull off. One does not have the compulsion to save face for the sake of someone else. But if I intend to be associated with someone, then that's a different story. I'll try my very best to be Miss Decorum and Class.
3. Drink All The Cocktail Mixtures Ever Concocted
I've always enjoyed a cocktail or two. Until two shots become three and three shots become countless already. Alcohol is known to bring out Dutch courage and I have self-explored what potvaliancy can do. Somehow it's easier to justify one's doings relative to such when you're single and therefore, can have that unwritten pass to drink a bit recklessly and irresponsibly. There's no hubby or wifey to go home to, someone to hide your liquor breath from and callously disturb when you kick all the furniture in the dark. If married however, this is a very unbecoming indulgence.
4. Wear A Two-Piece Bikini and Pose Provocatively
Being single means being more liberated. Call me old-fashioned when it comes to this but I believe the way one should bear herself should be age and status-specific. Just think about two different girls, one married and one single, slipping on the same piece of string bikini while doing seductive poses just for the heck of it. What's easier to digest? Thing is, there's what we call dressing appropriately for the occasion, or in this case, for the situation. I would not like my husband to go on donning tight-fitting tees and trunks to show how ripped he is. I know he'd feel the same way if I acted similarly.
5. Travel To An Island and Be A Hermit for a Week
Scenario: Pack a bag and board the next bus going to nowhere. Cut myself off from everyone, no phones, no mails, no nothing. Just me and a wad of bills ready to be spent down to the last dime. There goes my selfish tendencies. I have this predilection of shutting myself from the world for various reasons. Now I know that this is something that's also a no-no once I'm bound with someone. Major turnabout by then, it's not just about me anymore. Marriage is hugely about lifetime companionship where everything ought to be shared between the two of you.
6. Mess Up
Do something really twisted. I don't mean something dark and sinister. More like some other craziness that cannot be categorized in the aforementioned items. The urge to do something like this is there because I know that immature foolishness should not be a factor in the equation of lifetime commitment. Marriage is also about maturity, wisdom, control and levelheadedness at all times. It's not that marriage requires one to be perfect, I just think being in this commitment would indirectly obligate someone to be more conscious about not committing boo-boos. Failures in all manners can affect the relationships we have with people around us.
I've always been impulsive and the kind who acts on gut instincts. The above list reflects that huge personality of mine. They're screwy and I know that full well hence the reservations I have about indulging despite the fact that no one ever said I could not do them. I'm interpreting that as a positive note that the inclination to avoid doing these are signs that I'm on my way there. More moral-bound, more thoughtful.
But at the end of the day, these are the things that I WANT to do but DO NOT necessarily have to do. I guess these are just some thoughts that I subconsciously entertained at certain points in my life but never really jumped at the opportunity to do them. Aside from the fact that these maybe self-impositions that I personally consider erratic and off-kilter when already committed, (or even when single, younger, and more foolish) marriage for me comes with toning down, in every sense of the word. You lose some aspects of liberation, impulsiveness and wildness for the right reasons, and do these not submissively but willingly.
Marriage entails huge changes, not just about how you live in general but personal adjustments as well. In a way, it tames one to be more responsible and thoughtful about any decision and action because one's not just thinking in the "I" point of view anymore but in "We" terms already. Marriage is about being a lot more responsible about one's actions, more thoughtful and considerate for another person, being more compassionate and devoted, about consummate faithfulness and selflessness. These, among many other things are the musts in that next list.
"If I get married, I want to be very married."
--Audrey Hepburn