**As published in Sunstar:
http://www.sunstar.com.ph/baguio/opinion/2012/12/02/brett-fairy-tales-are-not-everyone-unless-256275
NOT so long ago, a local celebrity couple made headlines because of a surprise wedding that could be aptly described as sweeping, impressively romantic, over-the-top-sweet and heartwarming. After seeing those status updates, tweets, and buzz about the event, I have come to the conclusion that somehow, a lot of us have raised our standards for our significant others. We have developed these expectations that we should be treated in perhaps similar ways that this classic gentleman did for his wife.
Hypocrisy aside, I too am a woman who’s had my share of dreaming for my own fairy tale. I mean no girl can possibly say no to being dashed off her feet. But it is fairy tales like these that oftentimes lead us astray.
We have inherent beliefs—results of early exposure to principles and values and which were heightened with later life’s popular ideals. These viewpoints greatly affect us throughout our lives and they apply with the way we perceive love and relationships. But what if these values are wrong, that our philosophies about love and romance are hopelessly awry?
Not wanting to sound unromantic but perhaps it is best to place less emphasis on our fairy tale perception and the jellied knees that come with it as keys to finding a lifetime partner. I am not saying that we should not chase those ideals, that we be cynical about the pursuit of the perfect romance, no. But we have to stop and ask ourselves if we deserve it in the first place. The ultimate kind of love, commitment and respect from another person that we crave, are we truly worthy of these?
One reason why we get to be hopelessly romantic is because of these movies and books (and yes, include that recent celebrity wedding) that portray similar story lines to those happily-ever-afters. We then hold impossible standards and expect nothing but perfection, or something close to it.
If we wish for something that is remotely similar to that lived-out fairytale, we should do what it takes to get that. We’re not Aurora who can sleep for countless years and be awakened by a prince or grow our hair ridiculously long like Rapunzel while waiting for a knight to rescue us. We want to be swept of our feet but we should not demand this if we are unworthy, much more if we do nothing to get this.
Now this is when we wonder whatever it is Miss Carmina has or does to have deserved such unparalleled romantic surprise and show of devotion from her husband. She must be very special to have been saved from every bride-to-be’s nightmare; that hectic and stressful pre-wedding preparation that will leave one wanting to get the big day done and over with.
Good things are never easy, much more magical ones. Love never happens like we really think it would unless by some streak of luck, you’re one of those truly fortunate ones whose stars are incredibly good to you.
My simple belief however is if you are a good person, you are worthy of such joy. And you are only worthy of such joy when you yourself are ready to give and show as much love back.
We ought to have love and happiness in all its sense and there’s no reason why we cannot have these as long as we are deserving.
http://www.sunstar.com.ph/baguio/opinion/2012/12/02/brett-fairy-tales-are-not-everyone-unless-256275
NOT so long ago, a local celebrity couple made headlines because of a surprise wedding that could be aptly described as sweeping, impressively romantic, over-the-top-sweet and heartwarming. After seeing those status updates, tweets, and buzz about the event, I have come to the conclusion that somehow, a lot of us have raised our standards for our significant others. We have developed these expectations that we should be treated in perhaps similar ways that this classic gentleman did for his wife.
Hypocrisy aside, I too am a woman who’s had my share of dreaming for my own fairy tale. I mean no girl can possibly say no to being dashed off her feet. But it is fairy tales like these that oftentimes lead us astray.
We have inherent beliefs—results of early exposure to principles and values and which were heightened with later life’s popular ideals. These viewpoints greatly affect us throughout our lives and they apply with the way we perceive love and relationships. But what if these values are wrong, that our philosophies about love and romance are hopelessly awry?
Not wanting to sound unromantic but perhaps it is best to place less emphasis on our fairy tale perception and the jellied knees that come with it as keys to finding a lifetime partner. I am not saying that we should not chase those ideals, that we be cynical about the pursuit of the perfect romance, no. But we have to stop and ask ourselves if we deserve it in the first place. The ultimate kind of love, commitment and respect from another person that we crave, are we truly worthy of these?
One reason why we get to be hopelessly romantic is because of these movies and books (and yes, include that recent celebrity wedding) that portray similar story lines to those happily-ever-afters. We then hold impossible standards and expect nothing but perfection, or something close to it.
If we wish for something that is remotely similar to that lived-out fairytale, we should do what it takes to get that. We’re not Aurora who can sleep for countless years and be awakened by a prince or grow our hair ridiculously long like Rapunzel while waiting for a knight to rescue us. We want to be swept of our feet but we should not demand this if we are unworthy, much more if we do nothing to get this.
Now this is when we wonder whatever it is Miss Carmina has or does to have deserved such unparalleled romantic surprise and show of devotion from her husband. She must be very special to have been saved from every bride-to-be’s nightmare; that hectic and stressful pre-wedding preparation that will leave one wanting to get the big day done and over with.
Good things are never easy, much more magical ones. Love never happens like we really think it would unless by some streak of luck, you’re one of those truly fortunate ones whose stars are incredibly good to you.
My simple belief however is if you are a good person, you are worthy of such joy. And you are only worthy of such joy when you yourself are ready to give and show as much love back.
We ought to have love and happiness in all its sense and there’s no reason why we cannot have these as long as we are deserving.