NOT so long ago, I came up with this bucket list of some sort. Fifty significant things I must accomplish before I reach half a century. What can I say? I was younger and more naïve, thus more idealistic. I had this printed and posted on an area in my room where I could look at it every day. Something to inspire me and get me through the humdrum, like a daily reminder that the seemingly mundane routine I undergo is but a step to be able to achieve these.
Today, I can but recall a dozen or so of the items listed there. The months passed and the list became a favorite spot of the notorious dust. I eventually shelved it; that sea of dreams which are now seemingly unattainable.
Today, I can but recall a dozen or so of the items listed there. The months passed and the list became a favorite spot of the notorious dust. I eventually shelved it; that sea of dreams which are now seemingly unattainable.
I came to remember this when I realized that in a couple of weeks, I'll be turning 25 years old already-pretty young for some but already ancient for me. I say primordial in the sense that my self-evaluation meter indicates that I'll be reaching one half of the set age (of 50) but still waaaay behind my list. I could enumerate a couple or two entries I've smugly checked but that's about it. The countless others remain to be what they are, dreams and aspirations.
Am I frustrated that things are not going accordingly as planned? I can't lie and say I'm not. Idealism comes with the vitality of youth. We dream like there's no tomorrow and we see every day as the time for opportunity and adventure. But once the toll of quarter life starts to creep up on us, we are confronted with struggles and dilemmas. Instead of chasing those dreams, we deal more with coping with anxieties brought about by jobs and unemployment, debts and finances, and even relationships; either personal, social or professional.
When bombarded with the harshness of the "real world," it's like a cycle of teen-age disappointments, depression and insecurities all over again, but on an entirely different level. Are these the telltale hallmarks of a midlife crisis?
Such letdowns and frustrations trigger us to be cynical. We get harsh on ourselves by tagging us as failures. We then lose the idealism and positivity that once kept us ardent. And before even hitting 30, we've aged thrice as much in a not-so-positive way.
And so before I turn 25 and before I fall into the pits of the quarter life crisis, I know I have to remind myself about the inevitability of change. That our priorities and ambitions can change. I might have to re-evaluate my list-be less delusional and be more practical and realistic. Or I could reverse everything and explore new possibilities that are linked closer to newfound interests and preferences. It might be necessary that I have to build a fresh foundation of new commitments that reflect different but related aspirations and values.
I should remain thirsty and hungry for life. It should not be too late to tick off all those fifty items given that I tweak some and trade one for another. Like instead of finishing a Ph.D. before turning 27, I could complete a certificate course in culinary instead. Or marry the most "taraki" Igorot in lieu of Channing Tatum. These could work.
Oh yeah, I heard people born in September really do this. You know, create bucket lists and when they can't complete these, they make entirely new ones (ain't that just witty?). Here's to turning a year older!
Am I frustrated that things are not going accordingly as planned? I can't lie and say I'm not. Idealism comes with the vitality of youth. We dream like there's no tomorrow and we see every day as the time for opportunity and adventure. But once the toll of quarter life starts to creep up on us, we are confronted with struggles and dilemmas. Instead of chasing those dreams, we deal more with coping with anxieties brought about by jobs and unemployment, debts and finances, and even relationships; either personal, social or professional.
When bombarded with the harshness of the "real world," it's like a cycle of teen-age disappointments, depression and insecurities all over again, but on an entirely different level. Are these the telltale hallmarks of a midlife crisis?
Such letdowns and frustrations trigger us to be cynical. We get harsh on ourselves by tagging us as failures. We then lose the idealism and positivity that once kept us ardent. And before even hitting 30, we've aged thrice as much in a not-so-positive way.
And so before I turn 25 and before I fall into the pits of the quarter life crisis, I know I have to remind myself about the inevitability of change. That our priorities and ambitions can change. I might have to re-evaluate my list-be less delusional and be more practical and realistic. Or I could reverse everything and explore new possibilities that are linked closer to newfound interests and preferences. It might be necessary that I have to build a fresh foundation of new commitments that reflect different but related aspirations and values.
I should remain thirsty and hungry for life. It should not be too late to tick off all those fifty items given that I tweak some and trade one for another. Like instead of finishing a Ph.D. before turning 27, I could complete a certificate course in culinary instead. Or marry the most "taraki" Igorot in lieu of Channing Tatum. These could work.
Oh yeah, I heard people born in September really do this. You know, create bucket lists and when they can't complete these, they make entirely new ones (ain't that just witty?). Here's to turning a year older!