I STARTED filling out this paper’s column when I worked as a creative writer for the University. My pieces then were mostly about campus issues and events. But when I got transferred to another office, I requested that I continue writing about everything and anything that might pique my fancy and interest, though not necessarily work-related. This was graciously granted by this paper’s editor so for more than two years already, I had a bit of space to call my own.
It was nice and fulfilling being able to write, not really minding that it might just be my mother who’s reading the things I blab about (come to think of it, I don’t believe she herself reads my pieces). But the fulfillment comes by not discounting the fact that there is an avenue for me to note and share my two cents and sentiments.
It was nice and fulfilling being able to write, not really minding that it might just be my mother who’s reading the things I blab about (come to think of it, I don’t believe she herself reads my pieces). But the fulfillment comes by not discounting the fact that there is an avenue for me to note and share my two cents and sentiments.
When I write about something, words will frantically flow out like if I won’t jot them down, they would forever be lost. I guess what I’m saying is when I’m intent about communicating a thought, I rarely am at a loss for words. So it was really perturbing when I had to draft my resignation letter. I kept staring at the blank page for so long with the cursor blinking steadily, as if taunting me. The letter was finally done after three days. Epic. The intention was there but how come it was really hard putting this into words—contrary to my self-assessment that communicating your well-pondered thoughts should just be cake.
This brings me to muse about the dilemmas that we undertake ever so often in our lives. Like our fresh high school graduates, they would be in the midst of crossroads, torn about which college degree to pursue, and their contemporary college graduates who are indecisive about which company to try their respective lucks on. For some of us, these catch-22 situations happen when we waver about certain decisions—on whether we should undertake those crucial actions, safe or risky. This was my latest quandary; to remain in my comfort zone or to chance upon the unknown. The latter won. I opted to tempt the indefinite. I guess this manifests the gung-ho attitude that comes with the zest of youth and the buoyancy of someone who feels like there’s nothing much to lose but possibly, a lot to gain. Or so I hope and pray.
But despite all these self-assurances that I made the right decision, I still mull over the fact why it was that difficult putting into words the gesture or my final decision. Yet I know without a doubt that the reason for this was simply because the idea of saying goodbye to this small world I have created for myself is about to be disturbed in the most superlative sense. There’s comfort in knowing that you wake up to certainties everyday; that you get to sit behind your own little table and tap on your own little keys. But nothing’s more comforting than being assured that everyday, you get to mingle, correspond and work with people who are not your superiors and co-workers but more of your friends and family at the same time.
I can’t help but go back down memory lane, of my first day to report for work to one of the big bosses who will ultimately become my second father as well. I was flustered and bashful around him given his formidable reputation but now with whom I can banter about both the mundane and profound repartees. Same with all the countless strangers who eventually became my chums and confidantes.
The thing with the University is that you don’t only get to love your work, but tend to be truly devoted to the people around you. The essence of family values and working as one has time and time been incorporated among the employees of this Institution. So once you become a part of it, you also get to be eternally grounded on these virtues.
I’m not an alumna of this University. But in more ways than one, it has become an alma mater, in a sense that I truly felt like I belonged. I learned a lot of things that I know I cannot gain within the portals of a mere academic arena.
Yes, even writing about these this very moment undeniably makes me question the soundness of the decision which I already made. I know it’s absolutely these emotions getting the best of me. But I know too that this is one of the many consequences of the risk I went for. I can just pray that whatever little world I would build next for me would be as compassionate and empowering as this home I’ve been in for the last three years.
It was both an honor and privilege writing under the banner of the University. I’m more than thankful for this little space that spoke big volumes for me. Through this, I gained more friends, earned adversaries (but to which I’m still grateful because that just means some people out there were affected, albeit negatively by the things I wrote). More importantly, I had a column in which I was able to put into form these opinions that had hopefully made a dent or two into another being’s thoughts. If that happened, I would forever relish the idea.
This brings me to muse about the dilemmas that we undertake ever so often in our lives. Like our fresh high school graduates, they would be in the midst of crossroads, torn about which college degree to pursue, and their contemporary college graduates who are indecisive about which company to try their respective lucks on. For some of us, these catch-22 situations happen when we waver about certain decisions—on whether we should undertake those crucial actions, safe or risky. This was my latest quandary; to remain in my comfort zone or to chance upon the unknown. The latter won. I opted to tempt the indefinite. I guess this manifests the gung-ho attitude that comes with the zest of youth and the buoyancy of someone who feels like there’s nothing much to lose but possibly, a lot to gain. Or so I hope and pray.
But despite all these self-assurances that I made the right decision, I still mull over the fact why it was that difficult putting into words the gesture or my final decision. Yet I know without a doubt that the reason for this was simply because the idea of saying goodbye to this small world I have created for myself is about to be disturbed in the most superlative sense. There’s comfort in knowing that you wake up to certainties everyday; that you get to sit behind your own little table and tap on your own little keys. But nothing’s more comforting than being assured that everyday, you get to mingle, correspond and work with people who are not your superiors and co-workers but more of your friends and family at the same time.
I can’t help but go back down memory lane, of my first day to report for work to one of the big bosses who will ultimately become my second father as well. I was flustered and bashful around him given his formidable reputation but now with whom I can banter about both the mundane and profound repartees. Same with all the countless strangers who eventually became my chums and confidantes.
The thing with the University is that you don’t only get to love your work, but tend to be truly devoted to the people around you. The essence of family values and working as one has time and time been incorporated among the employees of this Institution. So once you become a part of it, you also get to be eternally grounded on these virtues.
I’m not an alumna of this University. But in more ways than one, it has become an alma mater, in a sense that I truly felt like I belonged. I learned a lot of things that I know I cannot gain within the portals of a mere academic arena.
Yes, even writing about these this very moment undeniably makes me question the soundness of the decision which I already made. I know it’s absolutely these emotions getting the best of me. But I know too that this is one of the many consequences of the risk I went for. I can just pray that whatever little world I would build next for me would be as compassionate and empowering as this home I’ve been in for the last three years.
It was both an honor and privilege writing under the banner of the University. I’m more than thankful for this little space that spoke big volumes for me. Through this, I gained more friends, earned adversaries (but to which I’m still grateful because that just means some people out there were affected, albeit negatively by the things I wrote). More importantly, I had a column in which I was able to put into form these opinions that had hopefully made a dent or two into another being’s thoughts. If that happened, I would forever relish the idea.